A Warped Form of Nature
9th November 2005
Yours truly has been studying all day for her VIA. She decided that she was insane to think she would survive second year. Realising she has been neglecting her blog of late, she uses it as an excuse to dump her Gestalt theory for something more profound.
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You know that feeling you get, when Gavin Degraw shouts his famous lines:
"I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately. All I have to do, is think of me and have peace of mind. I'm tired of looking round rooms, wondering what I gotta do or who I'm supposed to be, I don't want to be anything other than me," during the opening theme of One Tree Hill?
It's that feeling.
Complete and utmost agreement.
It's so heartfelt that you just want to jump off your bed (well that's where I was anyway) and raise your fist in the air and go, "Yeah this is me. This is all I want to be."
What if that feeling went away one day? You realise perhaps maybe this is not who you want to be.
If you haven't realised by now, this is going to be one of those self-analytical posts = much to do with me.
If everything is pre-determined and written, what can we mere humans do, if it was so destined that these are the characteristics we will acquire? To put it simply, why do some people enjoy Backstreet Boys - the has beens, while others prefer the melancholy violin strings?
Why do some revel in sarcasm and wit while others just don't seem to get it?
How can one find humour in everything and laugh all day, while others remain stony-faced and prefer to think about the end of the world?
Surely indeed our upbringing, education and experiences with this world nurture how we think and perceive life.
But what if that nurture is merely a warped form of nature?
If everything was predetermined by the All-Mighty, then the question still remains, are we a product of who we want to be?
Or are we just we?
Do we just be?
And if so, can we help the way we are? And if we desire so to change, can that change be purely attributed to our independent will or are we deluding ourselves yet again?
On a purely random note, Delusion: A perceptual disorder where the patient has a falsely held belief, and holds it with absolute conviction despite proven to be wrong, and is usually poorly substantiated.
And if you want to be anal about it, is that desire to change a true and real desire?
Many say they are happy with themselves, that there's nothing they would change, but surely, surely, deep down in that contorted almost futile denial, there is that yearning to be somebody else.
Just for a while. Especially in those lonely and disappointing moments.
And then, you realise you can't help the way you are.
And the next time you hear the opening theme of One Tree Hill, (Yes I like watching Chad Michael Murray. Why? Haven't you been paying attention?), you sing it with more conviction and gusto. Perhaps to reassure yourself that who you are is no fault of your own but rather that it is written in the stars.
Deluded maybe.
Comments
im going home today,you take care of yourself okay
*hugs*
msg if anything, thanks for everything munirah:)
Posted by: SelamatHariYaya November 10, 2005 04:12 PM
Yours truly has been studying all day for her VIA. She decided that she was insane to think she would survive second year. Realising she has been neglecting her blog of late, she uses it as an excuse to dump her Gestalt theory for something more profound.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You know that feeling you get, when Gavin Degraw shouts his famous lines:
"I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately. All I have to do, is think of me and have peace of mind. I'm tired of looking round rooms, wondering what I gotta do or who I'm supposed to be, I don't want to be anything other than me," during the opening theme of One Tree Hill?
It's that feeling.
Complete and utmost agreement.
It's so heartfelt that you just want to jump off your bed (well that's where I was anyway) and raise your fist in the air and go, "Yeah this is me. This is all I want to be."
What if that feeling went away one day? You realise perhaps maybe this is not who you want to be.
If you haven't realised by now, this is going to be one of those self-analytical posts = much to do with me.
If everything is pre-determined and written, what can we mere humans do, if it was so destined that these are the characteristics we will acquire? To put it simply, why do some people enjoy Backstreet Boys - the has beens, while others prefer the melancholy violin strings?
Why do some revel in sarcasm and wit while others just don't seem to get it?
How can one find humour in everything and laugh all day, while others remain stony-faced and prefer to think about the end of the world?
Surely indeed our upbringing, education and experiences with this world nurture how we think and perceive life.
But what if that nurture is merely a warped form of nature?
If everything was predetermined by the All-Mighty, then the question still remains, are we a product of who we want to be?
Or are we just we?
Do we just be?
And if so, can we help the way we are? And if we desire so to change, can that change be purely attributed to our independent will or are we deluding ourselves yet again?
On a purely random note, Delusion: A perceptual disorder where the patient has a falsely held belief, and holds it with absolute conviction despite proven to be wrong, and is usually poorly substantiated.
And if you want to be anal about it, is that desire to change a true and real desire?
Many say they are happy with themselves, that there's nothing they would change, but surely, surely, deep down in that contorted almost futile denial, there is that yearning to be somebody else.
Just for a while. Especially in those lonely and disappointing moments.
And then, you realise you can't help the way you are.
And the next time you hear the opening theme of One Tree Hill, (Yes I like watching Chad Michael Murray. Why? Haven't you been paying attention?), you sing it with more conviction and gusto. Perhaps to reassure yourself that who you are is no fault of your own but rather that it is written in the stars.
Deluded maybe.
Comments
im going home today,you take care of yourself okay
*hugs*
msg if anything, thanks for everything munirah:)
Posted by: SelamatHariYaya November 10, 2005 04:12 PM
Comments