A prayer

I can only write because that is all I can do. I can't sleep. For I am here, far away from home and there is naught that can be done but to pray.

Ya Allah please give strength and courage to my family. Especially my mother. I wish I could be there to help, to do something but I cannot. It hurts that I am here helpless to do anything.

It hurts to find out this way. They thought they were protecting me. The whole world is laughing but who knew the joke was about me? Everyone knew but me. To hear it that way from a friend could not have shocked me any more than the news itself.

Ya Allah please give enlightenment to the very community that my father has tried to help but has betrayed him.

Ya Allah please give my sister the ability to rise up to the challenge and help my family in this times.

Ya Allah the Merciful, all bad and good comes from you. I redha. My family redha. We don't know why this happened and what the big picture is suppose to be. But we will have faith to be resilient.

Ya Allah give me strenght to carry on and let this anger dissipate away.

They know not what they do. They know not what they say.

There are three sides to the story. Them, ours and the Truth. And You know our deepest intentions and You know what has taken place.

Kesian orang melayu tak boleh beli rumah sebab dulu penagih dadah. Tak boleh dapat kerja kerana dihina. Tak ada duit macam mane nak beli rumah. Ada orang melayu tolong mereka? Ada government tolong mereka? Tidak. Orang melayu dipandang jijik and dihina selalu.

Ya Allah I have all this anger but I don't know where to put it. I have all this hate and I don't what to do with it. WHY? How can they do this to their own race. He who have struggled so and fought for our rights and placed our race in a rare moment of triumph in such an unlikely place, at the slightest mark is taken down so cruelly without a chance to defend himself. By the hand of his own race. Oh and the others watch in glee as he crashed and burned.

"Tak berhati perut" kate orang melayu. Ni lah orang melayu. Why didn't the Chinese and English newspaper report about the ads? Because they are smart and they are not malicious like orang Melayu. How can a reporter take advantage of a person's misfortune and bad timing and turn it into something degrading and shameful? How? It's easy. By ignoring what's staring in their face and choosing to report things as they see like it. Choosing to omit pertinent facts. Niat jahat dan dengki.

Oh but why bother to tell the truth. No one bothered to seek the truth especially the reporter. People only read news if its dirty.

Orang melayu tak boleh lihat orang melayu lain berjaya. Kate dia orang Islam, berniagalah secara orang Islam. How fucking heartless can you be? Do you not think how it affects people's families and lives?

To the Malay reporter who wrote that scathing article,

JOURNALISM 101: get the fucking facts straight.

Ya Allah, my mother tells me to cry all I want. But when I'm done, forget all of this and study. We will get by she says. We will fight. But how can I move on?

Ya Allah, please please please give me the peace of mind and courage to move forward.

Ya Allah Maha Pengadil, I pray for justice to be done.

Ya Allah, murah kan rezeki kita dan lindungi keluarga saya dari musibah.

How does a daughter react when she hears what her father and family have to go through?

The prosecutor never had evidence against my dad. Take that you ignorant journalist. You can malign people however and whenever you feel like it and whoever is stupid enough to believe what you say and write, but you can never malign my mind. I'm proud of my dad. He's a fighter. He'll get through this. We'll get through this.

InsyaAllah.

Amin.