Thank you

I've not been myself lately. For the past several days, I've been waking up past 8 am (on a usual day I wake up at 6 am or earlier to go to hospital) . Of course, I missed many tutorials and outpatient clinics in doing so, but somehow that didn't matter.

I couldn't sum up the energy or motivation to do so. And on Friday, I skipped school. Yes I gave myself a holiday. Having to wake up at 4.50 am to go for a 7 am lecture did not seem as important as waiting for the call.

But as much as my temporary loss of geekness brought upon much needed R and R time, I was feeling guilty about my acute onset of who gives a f%^& ness?! So I grabbed my laptop and books and headed out to the pavilion and decided to spend the day in the sun studying.

A few hours later, my handphone finally rang. I had been waiting for the call all morning. I needed to talk to him. I needed to hear the story from him.

I listened for any alerting signs but could only detect weariness and a taste for revenge. He finally said to me, "Don't worry. You just study. You're a fighter like me. Never say die ok." According to my mom, he looks thinner and I'm sure if there's one good thing that came out of this, is that he finally managed to shave off some kilos.

Thank you ana, melissa, non, ifah, mun, rahayu, khairiah, amy, mus, han, elfie, aun teeng, mariam, yaya and hikmah. Especially mel and non for being there for me so that I could cry my heart out.

It might not mean much to some especially when many had no idea what happened, but believe me, giving words of comfort and simply asking how I was feeling, went a long way and was truly heartfelt and much appreciated. Alhamdulillah.

But enough of all this sad and morbid stuff. Moving on.

I was at the Renal office the other day and there was a picture that simply took my breath away. Betweeen two majestic mountains covered with the greenest pastures stood a wide valley. And for as far out as you could see, the whole valley and plains were covered with fields and fields of yellow flowers.

It was summer in Bogong National Park, part of the Alpine National Park.

According to the renal secretary, you can walk in between the mountains through these fields of yellow flowers. I think that is reason enough to go there.

To be amongst nothing and everything. I need need need to go there. I wish summer was here.

(Sorry the national park website is a bit stingy with photos. I guess the whole point is to go there yourself and take the pictures yourself. Which I'm all for. But this tiny picture doesn't do it justice though.)

It's seven weeks to winter holidays and there is another place where I yearn to go. I could sit there all day, waiting for the sunset and just be.

Yes, that is the red centre. In the middle of nowhere and yet you know you will be sitting in a place so great it will nullify all that emptiness.

It will cost me 825 bucks. So far I've got half of that covered thanks to the Singapore government. Now the other half is another matter entirely.

I can't fully verbalise how much I really want to do this.

I just need to get away from all of this and get lost in beauty.

Somehow I know when I get there, nature will heal me.

Thanks again.