My life back then

I was looking through my albums that I lugged all the way from Singapore to here. My parents asked me why I wanted to bring all of my pictures. Here's why.

Album No. 1

Childhood photos have the disturbing ability to reignite one's longing for that 'selenge' kid you once were when you were younger. (selenge is a Singaporean Malay slang to describe one who is so embarassingly dorky that the very presence of the said selenge person makes one wince) To illustrate:

Top: the one with the toncet in the middle, in Thailand.
Bottom: me at Disneyland 1995, with my sis and my Umi in the background.

Back then, when my dad worked for an airline company we had free tickets every year and we would travel everywhere. In all my travel pictures, I noticed a sense of innocence I once had that strikes me now, as invariably lost.

Above: In the Casino at Caesar's Palace, Las Vegas (I was ten). Later the security guards escorted my family out. Five of us were underage and we were also taking photos (not allowed!!).

I think when we were young, our affection for each other was open and free. I remember when I was in Primary 6. I had just won the first place in 100 m and 200m sprint. When I reached home, I couldn't wait to tell my dad the news. He was the first person I wanted to tell.

That was in 1996. Its ten years now. We grew and changed in our various ways. Being here away from family, one inevitably ponders about family dynamics more often than before. I think life back then was much simpler.

Album No. 2

Pictures of my life in HGS, TKGS and TJC.

I have to say looking at all the silly photos of me and my friends brought back the funniest memories. We had so much fun doing nothing. Walking around TM with no purpose, checking out guys, studying at Ifah's house (how geeky were we challenging each other who can finish the maths sum first!?), hanging out in Toys R Us, taking neoprints like crazy, 'studying' at the Airport and so much more.

Prom (arriving in a London cab!!!), Racial Harmony, cheerleading, playing tennis for 4 years (and not getting better at it).

House Committe (OMG building that stupid float that took 3 months to finish), OBS, Rugby!!! (the days when I pranced around in FBT shorts and sleeveless jerseys with a Gilbert shouting fuck touch!), Gema Temasek (gosh I was in Nasyid need I say more?), Dikir, late nights at Starbucks watching people folkdance, dancing for Teacher's Day, hanging out at MCS room and Scope with our kain batik, gossiping, bitching and all the people I knew (friend, foe and stranger) that made it so POWER.

Oh yes the days when we were so kental we would use words like paaweeer!, begini seh kawan,minah step, kentalan ah, jambu seh, rabak seh. What was with all the SEH??? Seh.

Album No. 3














The album my dearest friends made for me. They gave it to me on The Day I Left Home at the airport before I boarded my flight.















I cried when I first read it in the plane. I was laughing so hard this time reading them all over again.

And there was this picture of me, ifah and fardi in our bathers at Dina's birthday party...haha konon HOT ah....But my gosh, how fun and innocent were our lives?

And all our Hari Raya photos....how we evolved from awkward girls to mature, demure girls (baju raya pun evolve dah jadi anggun and lawar - konon dah jadi kakak kakak lah tu).

And some of the words my dearest girlfriends wrote in the album:

"Hope we stay frens 4EVA!! Until we get married!! ooops u getting married rite?? Tak pe...Nanti aku carikan kau...Bole tak?"

"Mun, remember the time when u were so sad coz u didn't win the 200m race (I think!) during one of TKG Sports Days coz u fell? When I saw u, I immediately cried coz I knew how hard it was for u. I've neva knew the meaning of a friend being able to feel the sorrow of another friend till then..."

"Look at us!! all step orang orang arab!!! Jambu kan????"

"Lepas school go toilet. siap siap then go bus stop. konon konon dah jambu ar satu-satu."

"and another thing worth remembering..you and your comb!!!always there at your service everytime and everywhere sikit sikit sikat rambut...but there's no difference!!! same aje.... OH!! and you had to have 2 cockcroach feelers...still remember how you combed your hair....and you are always pulling the bus tix stuck @ the seats...a service to the cleaners konon.... =)"

To be back in those days when life was simple.

My family at Caesar's Palace. (Aliyah, Ali, Umi, Munir, Mak, Yanti, Me). Kecik kecik dah pandai pose kan. My dad is missing from all my photos. He never wants to be in the photos.

I miss my family, my girlfriends, my life back then.

Why do I feel like all was lost when I left?