How it came to be

You know how so many things occur to you at once, you don't know where to start? Where do I begin? How can I explain how it feels?

I came to this state when I read Elia's recent post (who quite aptly described how it feels to be away for so long).

I am assaulted by so many feelings from all sides, it tears me apart. Been back in Singapore for my two weeks annual leave that is almost gone now.

I visited my sick grandmother in kampung. She is 81 and is on a good regime of medications given the state of healthcare in the area. Last I heard, she is slowly improving.

Then met up with my girls at Simpang - finally the 5 of us together after Mun returned from her stint in Germany. And more good news, another of us is getting married! That makes 2 of us now! Two weddings this year that I must make every effort to attend, insyaAllah.

Such happy news that is met with frustration and sadness from my side. Sad because I already missed Ifah's engagement. And I don't want to miss out on all the other exciting, important days yet to come.

Then to Krabi with the family which was fun but still mildly stressful time for me. Time with the family is always a bit stressful for me for so many reasons too difficult to explain unless you've lived with this family.

The situation I am in now - right now - I'm not sure how it came to be. And this is just the tip of the iceberg of everything that I have yet to say, explain and understand. Ya Allah, what is it that you are asking of me?

All I know - is that I don't know.