Parents

I got an email from my mom. This was in reply to my email letting them know I was going to buy a car.

"Just want to remind you that Aba wants to be the first one to know everything and be consulted upon. He must be the FIRST to know about everything. He doesn't like second-hand news. Whether that be what specialty you choose, future investments, buying a house, marriage, being involved in accident, a quarrel - HEH?

Gaduh pon mesti bilang ke?

This is just one of the all too many similar-sounding emails I have received over the course of last year as a result of me telling my mak something before my dad. And it wasn't intentional seriously. The uproar was just well ridiculous and lasted for a while.

I mean it's not like I'm excluding him from my life. I chit-chat with my mak from time to time and things come out. I can't talk about the weather all the time. I don't really chit-chat with my dad - that's just the way things have always been from being raised in a military style manner - "Do as I say. Even if I'm wrong, just do it anyway with no argument." Any sign of protest would mean the cane or the slap. I just learnt to be the obedient, eager-to-always-please-my-parents-at-the-expense-of-anything daughter while my youngest brother, did the exact opposite. To my dad's credit, he has mellowed over the years.

Which is why I envy all of my friends who can talk to their parents like their own friends. I can still remember in TKG when a friend of mine, Aishah, was telling me about her parents. I started crying and she was really sweet about the whole thing, giving me a nice hug and writing me a letter after that. I love all my 3 parents equally but I just happen to be able to talk to my mak without getting an opinion/expectation/I-want-you-to-do-exactly-this being stuffed down my throat.

Mun let go mun, let go.

Comments

Unknown said…
Oh Mun that sounds horrible. Your dad seems really old-fashioned or something. You are so tolerant and patient and it's to your credit that you're not like your youngest brother :)
9:06 AM
Unknown said…
Yes, I suppose I can somewhat understand - I've met him before and my dad, too, has similar threads that are woven in him.

It just takes a little more patience to hope that this tides over. And thicker skin.

On a lighter note, you up for some long weekend travelling somewhere in Australia?
9:10 PM
zarawil said…
kat: yeah it was while i was growing up but now he's mellowed somewhat though remnants of said regime still exists :) don't know abt being tolerant, i think it helps being away sometimes the emotional blackmail doesn't works as well hehe. don't get me wrong i do love him very much it's just like most relationships with parents i think it's a love/hate relationship.

mus: oooh long weekend when??? are you coming down to melbourne?? call me!! oh you mean easter? i'm free but i may be taking up locum shifts if available. weekend + public holiday + locum rates = $$$$.
10:14 AM
Unknown said…
Ooo dear, I wish I could start earning my first fistfuls of cash. Been trying to find part-time work (that somehow doesn't involve alcohol or outrageous hours) but either I'm not trying hard enough, or the market is dry.

I was thinking of some other place interstate - I've been visiting only Melbourne all these years! The adventurous in me suggests NZ, though the proverbial beggar prefers staying in Adelaide.

You take care in those bucolic plains. If anyone pokes you, bite them back. After all, you're licensed to treat them like krill.
7:58 PM
zarawil said…
oooh NZ me want to go to but when? unfortunately my roster isn't as flexible anymore but do let me know when you plan to go!
5:15 PM
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