Just another day

Day 1

"Good morning Mr A, how are you feeling today?"

"Oh I'm feeling not too bad doctor. Just to let you know yesterday, when I tried to stand, I felt a lot of pelvic pressure just down there."

He whips off the blanket, exposing himself to the team. He wasn't wearing any underwear. "Just there doc." He puts his finger underneath his unmentionables pushing his finger into his perineum.

"I think there is a gap between my bones doc. You can feel it just there. Just there doc."

"That's not possible Mr A, the scan showed that your pelvic fractures were undisplaced and very small. Nothing to worry about!"

"But doc you can feel it just there doc!"

No way in hell am I going there.

Day 2

"And how are you feeling today sir?"

"Oh doc, I feel much much better today. I've been doing this everday." Underneath his blanket he makes cycling movements with his legs.

"Oh that's very good!" I said encouragingly.

"Yeah doc, and now I can do this too!"

With his elbows on the bed, he pushed himself up, thrusting his pelvis into the air.

I kept my face blank. Pervert. I quickly looked down at my notes as he continued to thrust his pelvis up and down infront of me, careful not to feed his excitement.

"See doc I can do this!"

"That's great. Well keep up the good work," I replied dryly.

Day 5

"And how's it going Mr A? The physio going well?"

"Oh yeah doc, today I felt so good I got an erection this morning!"

I exchanged glances with my registrar. Yup this is what I have to put up with while you were gone. Days like this I wished there was a male staff in the ward. We ignored his comment and left.

The next time he insinuates something - I am going to tell him off. Freaking inappropriate patient.