Zero tolerance

At 8 am this morning, I received a call from Monique. A call from her could only mean one thing on a Sunday morning. Someone had called in sick. She was giving me a head's up as the person calling in sick was meant to work the night shift.

My plans of a beautiful Sunday was fast disappearing into thin air. To be honest, it wasn't really a big ask. The job I'm doing is not busy compared to the other jobs in the tertiary hospitals. The hospital that I'm rotating at is small and full of its quirks. It's a love-hate relationship. Love, because I know when I bring my daily paper into work, I would be able to snatch a couple of sunny hours out on the balcony of the ressies, sipping my coffee while I get engrossed in the happenings of today's world. Hate, because I do not feel challenged enough at my current job and working with a select profession solely dedicated to women and childbirth has really rubbed me the wrong way.

But anyway back to the newspapers. Lately and disappointingly - much of a local scandal involving a model and a cricket star blown completely out of proportion by the media have been stealing the headlines. If I hear the name Bingle again, I might just scream go Bingle yourself why don't you!! Again I attest to how much the media can destroy personal lives - its desire to be objective has meant that their ethical responsibilities to not only their readers but the people they write about take a backseat. Afterall sex, crime and scandals sells papers. I for one would prefer to read more about one particular issue that I am passionate about; bullying.

It continues to surprise me how much bullying has become so ingrained in the education system here. Too often one hears comments - 'it will toughen the kid up', 'we all had to go through it and look at us, we're fine'. Recently a teenager successful sued the government for a substantial amount of money because she had been bullied so badly in school, both physically and verbally that she feared for her life and had to bring a weapon to school. Way to go kid - now if only we can sue the staff who turned a blind eye to it.

Also, a recent stabbing that occurred at school that resulted in the death of a 12 year old brought forth more stories of bullying and how children these days bring weapons to school to protect themselves. Wait a minute, we are talking about schools right? Are you sure it's not a war-torn area or a dark alley street you're talking about?

Just one of the many stories that one might hear in this country. It doesn't shock anyone. Not anymore. The first time I heard about bullying was in my early years of university. Friends would reminisce about bullying at school. Many had experienced it, seen it and went on with their school lives not doing much about it. I was shocked. In my sheltered life, the only bullying I had seen was verbal bullying and one would rate it as mildly childish compared to the level of bullying here. It is vicious almost bordering on evil. Physical assaults such as spitting, beating, punching, kicking and threats to kill are common. Oh and add manslaughter to that.

The lack of a zero tolerance policy in schools and a strict hand in tackling this problem is absolutely and immensely frustrating. I look back at my years in school and I hardly remember anything so vicious as this.

I was bullied once in primary school. I was doing work at my desk during recess and a couple of peers who I considered friends came up to me and started pulling my chair out from under me. I protested and laughed half-heartedly thinking they were just playing with me. But they continued to disturb me not allowing me to sit back on my chair and continued to be mean. A small incident but one I still remember to this day.

The impact on me? I still wonder what was wrong with me then, that I had deserved such a treatment. Was it my ugly hair (because I had horrendous hair as a kid) or my huge, dorky glasses?

The impact on school children here? Suicides, long-term psychological problems that would continue to interfere with their adult relationships, work and life.

Bullying here doesn't end in schools. Why should they? After all, many hold the belief that it is an inescapable part of life i.e. suck it up mate. They continue to pervade beyond high school. In recent news, three adults were found guilty of systematically bullying a colleague at their workplace. Their bullying took the form of socially excluding her, gossiping, calling her fat and ugly and pouring fish oil over her hair and clothes. The manager of the place who was aware of the ongoing bullying did nothing and in fact told them to 'take it out the back'. She committed suicide as a result of the relentless bullying by throwing herself off a multi-storey building.

A recent research in Sydney recently found that at least 7 in 10 adults suffer low self-esteem and lack of self-assertiveness as a result of school bullying. Just one of the many, many scars that school bullying leaves on its victims.

Why has this culture of bullying been allowed to go on for so long? It is not normal. It is and should not be part of school life. Apart from that chair incident that I experienced, the rest of my education life was free of bullying. I didn't see it nor was a victim of it. The worse type of bullying back home would probably be gossip. And I would be certain that if a student was caught physically assaulting another - one could be assured that parents' complaints would be taken seriously and would result in decisive action.

The outcome: a clear message that it will not be tolerated. The moral message behind in not partaking in such behaviour may lag somewhat, but as is most moral lessons for children. Some things need to be taught as rules before the human faculties can grow to learn the true impact of their actions.

Call me Singaporean. Some things I have zero tolerance for. And bullying is one of them.

It's Monique again - she tells me that she found a locum. Thank God for locums!