Home

As I walk the streets in my new neighbourhood, I was struck by the local population of the area. In some ways, it feels like I never left. Bistros line the main road, its patrons mainly ex-pats and the the local supermarket could almost resemble a Coles.

Being home feels surreal at times and I am filled with a sense of panic as to what my future holds.

But sometimes being home is just that - being home. And it is enough.

I am sad to have left my old neigbourhood - with friendly neighbours who didn't hide behind high walls and marble statues. Most of all, the heartlands has always been where I lived and grown up. This new neighbourhood brings out the 'jakun' in me. I am completely amazed at the size and the opulence of some of the houses I see, the number of BMWs and Audis parked outside a single home. Give me my regular HDB flat any day.

Melbournians love their footy. I would say that the true heartlander here loves their HDB void deck.

As I set up my new room, I am reminded of all the beautiful people I had come to love in Melbourne. Many who I've known long and some for a short while - who have touched me irrevocably. I carry them in my heart as I brave the motherland again to serve as pertinent reminders the reasons why I have to stay true to my ideals.

Melbourne has irreversibly changed me including my palate. I find it hard to eat the local Western cuisine without sounding like a food snob. I will miss the coffee, cheese, authentic Italian cuisine and Greek pastries. Most of all I will miss the beautiful sun on a cold winter day, the clear blue sky, the sisters at my Arabic class whose sincerity and kindness filled me with warmth and my beautiful friends who balked at my leaving and who will with time accept my decision to leave.

I have been of course spoilt by the medical system there and while it was good while it lasted, comparisons would only be short-sighted as I have yet to sink into the medical system here. So any comparisons or judgements will only be delivered once it is fair to make one.

I have changed. InsyaAllah for the better. I just need to keep reminding myself what matters the most and to let the superificial-ities bounce off me and keep living the life that I desire.

As Rumi puts it,

Oh soul,
you worry too much.
You have seen your own strength.
You have seen your own beauty.
You have seen your golden wings.
Of anything less,
why do you worry?
You are in truth
the soul, of the soul, of the soul.”

InsyaAllah.